Talk:Gender Fluid/@comment-24.241.198.95-20150521202305
When did I decide I was GenderFluid? GenderFluid Definition: "Gender Fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days. Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation." Well, I stepped into the shower to get ready for a night out with the family. It was as simple as that. I reached for my wife's body wash. The one that smells like flowers in a meadow being twisted and twirled by a soft breeze. Just before I squeezed the body wash onto my rag, I stopped. I realized I was expected, as a man, to smell "manly". Apparently flowers are too wonderful for men to enjoy them as much as women. I like men's body wash and shampoo, etc etc, but sometimes, I want that flower smell! I don't want to always smell manly. Sometimes I want to smell beautiful. I felt heartbroken. I felt like, because I have a penis, I can only smell a certain way. The same goes for my cologne. Sure, it smells nice, but sometimes, I would like to wear my wife's perfume. OMG! Some of the scents she has are amazing. Lucky You smells so amazing. I wish that some days I could spray some on myself and just enjoy the smell all day. But of course, anyone smelling perfume on me would question if I were gay or maybe my wife would ask if I were cheating, which I would never do. I wish I could smell like a girl sometimes. I just do. Just like I want to smell like a man sometimes. Panties. OMG! The panties, the booty shorts, the thongs! I love them all. They are so comfortable! The material, the patterns, the designs, the pretty lace. There are so many wonderful kinds!! My wife seems to be understanding in that area. She knows I like panties and thongs. I wear the panties around her sometimes, but I always try to avoid letting her see me in a thong. It's probably that "manly" thing coming to mind. Something about how men should "never wear panties, and certainly not a thong". I would be embarrassed until the end of time if any ugly comment was made about it. I just wish it was acceptable to wear what you like. Something that feels good or even makes you feel good about yourself. If wearing a thong and some tight yoga pants at home makes me feel sexy, then I should feel 100% safe and comfortable doing so! I should also be able to wear a wife-beater and some boxers if I feel like it. I wish I could wear any panties I want without being scared to actually wear them in front of my own wife! I'm not afraid of wearing men's clothes. Speaking of panties and tight yoga pants!! I love some sweat pants or jeans over my panties, but I also love to wear a pretty thong with some tight yoga pants to extenuate my ass. I love it. I can't wear a thong and yoga pants around the house. My wife would think horrible things about it/me, and even if she didn't, my anxiety about it would scare me into not wearing it anyway. This is the problem. I can wear sweatpants, boxers and a t-shirt all day, with no feeling of judgement or actual judgement, but I step into a cute pair of yoga pants with a pretty pink thong, and I'm judged like a slice of steak and I end up not being able to do it because it's not "accepted". If I want to wear boxers and jeans or a thong and yoga pants, why shouldn't I? And without feeling like a freak. I just want to live my life the way I want to. Life is too short, so we shouldn't waste it living by the standards of others. My biggest fear is my wife not accepting me like this. She is very open-minded, but how would she feel about knowing I am GenderFluid? I'm not gay. I like men and women both, but I lean closer to women than anything. 95% women! I like a man's cock and body, but I never was really interested in a "dating life" with a man. Not my thing. :-/ Anyway, some days I feel like throwing some boxers and jeans on with some shoes or boots, then taking a motorcycle ride somewhere. I just feel like a man! I want to ride the roads and just be myself! Just feel like the cock of the walk. That's all I need. Some jeans and some boots. I feel like a man! And sometimes... I want to stay home. I want to curl up on the couch with a pretty thong and a cute pair of yoga pants. Just a book and some cute clothes. I feel like sometimes I have to hide my manerisms. This is what GenderFluid is about. Not just clothes. It's about feeling like I'm a women sometimes and a men other times. That's how I feel. I feel like a good husband, father, and MAN. But sometimes I feel like a beautiful woman! I like to change into my "girl clothes" (which are mostly my wife's clothes and the few things she has let me buy), and just be a woman. I walk, talk and act differently. Like a woman instead of a man. I guess I will have to live my life wondering. Just wondering if I could have opened up to my loving wife and told her how I feel and see if she would let me do these things and more. I would rather live an unfulfilled life than ruin my marriage and destroy my family, all because I have finally figured out my sexuality. I have erectile dysfunction sometimes. I wonder if maybe my problem is my confusion with my sexuality? Maybe it's because I am scared of my wife finding out? I love sex with my wife. OMG it's amazing, and that will never change. Sometimes she likes playing with my ass. I wish that sometimes I could be the sexy girl for my wife and get ass fucked with one of my dildos. Let her put on the strap-on, pull my cute glitter jeans down, pull my panties/thong to the side, lube my ass and just fuck me like the bad girl I am. And sometimes I want to lick her pussy like an ice cream cone, then roll her over while she wears a cute skirt, and fuck that pussy deep. I wish we were born 500 years from now. Maybe then the sexual nature of humans will be completely analyzed. I want to be accepted for who I am. Not by strangers or friends either. I want my family to accept me. My kids will always accept and love me. No matter what! :) I want to be accepted by the person I promised to spend eternity with. Maybe one day. I doubt it though. How could I risk losing all I love by scaring my wife away? Or worse.... disgusting her to the point she leaves or doesn't love me anymore. :-(